Just to keep going
The mind is an incredible thing, it gives you strength, sometimes lets you forget and escape the reality of life, blocks out pain and then fills difficult voids with memories of the good times, family and friend.
It always seems to have the ability to get you over the worst.
At the moment Andy and I are staring into this great void, an abyss of pain and uncertainty, not really knowing what the next step is going to be like. Are we able to take it, what is in store for us over the next few days, weeks and months ahead?
We are both suffering from acute anterior tendinitis. We took one day rest last week and pushed on, this did not seem to help.
Andy’s leg has taken a turn for the worse and we have decided to stop again and rest the injury, this time get Andy to a medical facility. Looking at the pain that he had to endure over the past day, it was the best decision; stop rest a few days and reassess. His ankle and lower shin of his left leg is now swollen to double the size and just walking is near impossible. We managed to hobble to the crew’s location and informed them of our decision. Part of what we needed was ice, ant- inflammatory tablets and rest. The biggest piece of this rehab that now lies ahead is going to be our mental state.
Andy and I have been through a lot over the years, but yesterday he stopped and looked at me, he then started to recap on some of the bad times, in India, Cuba, the UK run, Thailand. He lifted his hand and pointed at me as he does when he gets really serious and said.
“Uncle D, I have been through shit, but this was the most painful day of my life.”
Here I sit thinking about the years I have spent sharing many parts of my journeys and adventures. Focusing a lot on the hardships and how I have found the mental strength in overcome them. In a way it’s easy to share this and give advice on how to deal with a situation, but it’s a whole different story when you are the one staring adversity in the face, facing uncertainty, failure and not knowing what the outcome will be. As I find myself immersed in this journey that harsh reality of actually how difficult it was all those years back. I suddenly find it all rushing back to me. In a way for the past 12 years my mind has shielded me from this reality, only giving me snippets of the hardships, but motivating me with the achievements.
We are now facing every fear that we had before the journey, what if, what if, it has now turned to reality of what now.
It’s now the digging deep, deeper that we have ever dug before, harnessing every scrap of mental strength that we have, in my mind all I hear screaming at me is just another 5 minutes, just another 5 minutes.
Continue Reading: How things have changed 12 years later