This crazy island has them, and in a big way, unique in every aspect. As the morning sun begins to bake the landscape, the bugs get on the move with vengeance as if they are enraged by the heat. My day is spent pounding along the rural paths, my shoes crunching into the gravel underneath, occasionally stepping onto a dry branch which seems to shatter like glass underfoot. Splintering into the bush around me and setting off drones of insects with the noise.

The sweat pouring off me seems to attract every type of flying bug, water on the move. You can hear them flying in. The drones of wings have very distinct pitches to them and you begin to recognise them and prepare evasive tactics.

The first is always the ultrasonic high revving little fly. This little shit aims for your ear in general and just flies into you, bang – bang two or 3 times he hits your ear, bounces off and come back in again until finally he manages to fly right down you ear. Then this buzz seems to invade you brain, you’ve got to get him out of there quick. I spent the odd morning with toilet paper stuck in my ear in attempt to foil his attack.

Then there is the drone of the big bomber bumble bee. This thing fly’s around your head, normally in formations of 2. Round and round they go, as big as Jumbo jets round and round they go. Then for no reason, they loop up away from you, turn and fly straight back at you and crash into your head, bounce off and disappear why?

Then the newest to the clan is the leg beetle that I’ve met, a cross between a fly and bug. He seemed to only go for the leg. Fly in and attach himself, his main aim is to irritate the hell out of you. I send half the day swatting and running these things, but as resilient as the heat. You can hit one with a flat hand and send yourself into a drunken wobble down the path, the fly-bug falls, shakes the punch and he is back after you.

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