Jetliners with no wings

I think I must of mentioned it a few times, but the traffic in this country is a law unto itself, there are no rules in this game, if there is a gap, take it. It does not really matter on what side of the road it is or in which lane it is. Just go for it and quickly before anyone else sees it. Another important rule is that you must never indicate as this will give away your intention and someone else might steal your gap. Never look left or right when entering into a road or oncoming traffic or at an intersection, just go for it as a glance in any direction could mean that you loose that split second and ultimately the gap. These are a few of the most basic rules.

Then if you are a traffic officer on duty, trying to make sure that everyone abides by these rules, it’s really important to find a spot, preferably behind a cow in the fast lane where you can stand and safely read your morning paper, shielding yourself from the mayhem unfolding around you. The most important thing is to synchronise the blowing of your traffic whistle with the turning of the page of your newspaper as not to bump anyone with your elbow as they are shunted across the lanes by some irate tuk-tuk driver with 25 people hanging off his 4 seater shouting at the pedestrian because he won’t climb on as well.

Not to forget the one and only criteria for a roadworthy certificate is a hooter the size of a dustbin that pumps out sound so loud that I have seen dogs blown backward with a single hoot.

Then enter the jetliner with no wings. They are law unto themselves, 60 seater busses that enter the fray. They have their own agenda and seem oblivious to the fact that there are any other vehicles on the roads of India. They only overtake on blind corners, prefer driving up freeways in the wrong direction and I think have a separate power plant onboard whose sole function is to generate power for their air horns that sound like the sound barrier has been broken overtime they hoot. As these jetliners do their aerial displays through the traffic, people, trucks, trees and animals flying in every direction to avoid them, all you see are the passengers heads swaying from side to side, those on the cheaper seats on the roof occasionally flopping around a bit as one hand might loose grip for a second or two, but quickly gaining composure as the tornado heads on up the road bellowing a could of black smoke from the rear, leaving everything shaken and deafened as weaves its path of destruction on up the road.

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