Our unique guzzler

There is a member of our crew that needs a mention because of his unique ability to devour every scrap of food that we have if he is not stopped, our own puck man. Then there are his combinations and everything is in excess.

It’s morning, cold rainy and the kettle is on the boil, that morning cup of coffee is just the best, but with limited supply we have to ration it. We all spoon out our bit, sit back to slowly savour the cup. Up stands our friend armed with a cup and a spoon, a look of glee in his eyes as he spots all the goodies on the table and off he goes. Digging out 4 spoons of instant coffee, 7 spoons of sugar, and then to round it off, 3 tablespoons of condensed milk. Stirring the toffee like brew he sits down oblivious to the fact that he has just used up a few days of rations and slurps away at 9 decibels.

The scrambled eggs are done, just cooling a bit, the steam catches packman’s eye, up he leaps. Spoon in hand and armed with half a french loaf in the other, he spoons in the egg, then it’s a good layer of peanut butter, oh yes and there is the apricot jam, scanning around he picks up a wedge of cheese. Finally he slides back into his chair. Loaf folded closed he begins to eat, believe it or not actually manages to slurp this as well. Keeping a beady eye on the table as he slowly packs the food into his one cheek, and swallowing the rest, then in mid stride, leaps up and scoops a few slices of tomato he missed, wedging himself back into his chair he slowly settles into idle mode, just ticking over on his caffeine boost.

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